Sheer dedication

MOTHERS OF SPECIAL CHILDREN ARE FETED BY THE KIWANIS CLUB

BY Anthony Thanasayan
Published: May 6, 2010, in The Star Online
http://thestar.com.my/columnists/story.asp?file=/2010/5/6/columnists/wheelpower/6181628&sec=wheelpower

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA - People in many countries will be observing Mother's Day [last] Sunday. At this time each year, I have the privilege of sharing with readers the wonderful stories of many mothers of disabled children or who themselves are handicapped and have had to raise their children in a world that gives little attention to their special needs.

The Kiwanis Club of Taman Tun Dr Ismail (KITT) in Kuala Lumpur was only a small band of volunteers some 15 years ago when they decided to set up a centre for children with learning disabilities.

While catering to children with various mental and physical disabilities - ranging from dyslexia to autism and Down's syndrome - it quickly became obvious to the group that it was not sufficient merely to provide a place where the children could sing a few songs and trace the alphabet.

"We felt a responsibility to develop, as best as we could, each special child's potential, and to help them find their niche in a world which often sees them as damaged goods," explained Firoza Burhan, vice-president of KITT and a mother of a learning-disabled teenager.

"I remember one time when KITT brought our children to a fast food outlet, one woman pulled her son away, as though fearful that her child would be ‘contaminated' somehow by our presence," she said, in pointing out that prejudice still exists against people with disabilities.

Firoza, who is also Regional Programme Manager with the International Committee of the Red Cross in Kuala Lumpur, stressed the fact that disability does not only touch the lives of the children, but also their parents.

She recalled an encounter she had with some mothers at a seminar during lunch break when one of them suddenly broke down. Her eldest son, born with mental disabilities, was becoming increasingly difficult to handle.

Instead of helping her be positive about the situation, her in-laws blamed her for bringing bad luck to the family whilst her husband ignored their child.

Despite the stress on her marriage and personal health, that mother refused to give up on trying to make a life for her son. Her main worry, however, was what would happen when she passed on.

"KITT saw a need to recognise the dedication and love of such mothers towards their special children," Firoza pointed out. "So we came up with our first charity dinner with a difference, called Anugerah Ibu Kiwanis (Kiwanis Mother's Award) or AIK.

"We timed the awards with Mother's Day in order to provide an appropriate platform to recognise the dedication and love of our special mothers."

Firoza said that since the first Kiwanis Mother's Award event, as many as 50 mothers from all walks of life have been feted. On such occasions, they are treated like VIPs and sit with numerous guests-of-honour and share the stage with top local performers who dedicate their songs to them.

One scene that is etched in Firoza's memory is of crooner DJ Dave on his knees, singing his heart out before an elderly mother from a small village who single-handedly looks after her four adult disabled children.

"A lot of people still don't realise the many challenges these mothers have to deal with every day of their lives.

"We need support from all sides - the family, society and especially the government, to provide more teachers with special education skills and better allowances.

"We are not asking for pity. Our children are not a tragedy. We love our children very much. We are just asking for equal opportunities (for our children) as for non-disabled children," concluded Firoza.

As part of the 10th anniversary of the awards this year, KITT is planning to bring together its past recipients for a celebration of life and love (date to be announced later).

KITT, which is entirely made up of volunteers, is looking for more volunteers to help out at this special event as well as to help children with learning disabilities.

For details, contact KITT (tel: 03-7722 1314) or the president/organising chairman of the awards, Rizman Ghazali (012-202 5199).