Golden Rule

Rob,

I think what you have written makes a lot of sense--that all of us need to go more than halfway.  In business there is also the Platinum Rule and the Double Platinum Rule.  

Check out:  www.hotel-online.com/.../Jun07_GoldenRule.html

I am sure if we think about this a little more we can expand these principles to make them meaningful to Kiwanis.

Jim Dane

Old Capitol Kiwanis

Iowa City, IA

Rob,

I've looked at your post as well as James Dane's and the one he linked to, and you both may be overlooking something that should be very important to every Kiwanian, the Six Objects of Kiwanis, adopted back in 1924, and which aren't referred to enough by Kiwanians today.  The Golden Rule is one of them, but if we look at all six they set a much higher standard  of performance than the Golden Rule, Platinum Rule, or the Double Platinum Rule.

Rob, we just saw you at the PNW District Convention in Medford, OR. where you spoke of the "Golden Rule".  You gave us many things to think about during your sessions.  I read the above link and I do believe it 100%.  However, I also believe, in order to keep people who are very caring and forgiving of others "healthy" (able to continue to care/give to others, etc.) we need to know how to walk away from people when we have given as much as we possibly can.  I believe we can love those people and pray for those people (as well as ourselves) but there may come a time when you have to walk away from them and  let them deal with their own frustration, anger, hate, pain, or what ever it is they are dealing with. There have been very few people I have NOT been able to get along with in life and some of my closest friendships have come from people I strongly disagreed with.  It was when we were able to confront each other out of love and respect that we connected.  It is also my opinion, some people may never cool off, and don't have the ability to forgive. Everyone messes up for sure, as no one is perfect.  Maybe if we all practiced knowing our bottom line of frustration we can just take a time out and re connect when the issue(s) are not so raw. Reading blogs like this can certainly help us to think outside the box in order to better serve the children around this world.

Rob: I agree. We just came back from RMD Kiwanis Annual meeting and our speaker was Jerry Traylor. No way does he meet you half way. Also just read an article about giving up hope. We need to stop hoping and start working on what we have in front of us. It is not about weathering the storm, its about learning to dance in the rain.

Thanks for the clarification, Rob.  Taking them one by one and highlighting in the magazine is a gret idea.

I am relieved that someone else feels this way. I thought I was alone. I have long considered that a relative, self referential philosophy such as the Golden Rule falls well short of being a good philosophy to guide behaviour. It is popular because it's easy to remember and is self-referential - whatever an individual thinks is ok, IS ok!  

I for one, do not want to be treated within the range of expectations of people with a low sense of self worth but according to the Golden Rule they are ok - they are treating me within the boundaries of their own expectations for themselves.(Ever been for a white knuckle ride in a car with a crazy driver? They mightn't care if they live or die - but I have a much lower risk threshold thank you very much)

A better philosophy would be "TREAT YOURSELF WITH LOVE AND RESPECT, AND TREAT OTHERS IN THE SAME WAY"

The Golden Rule was useful for tribal survival in early times but we need better now (in my view).

Kind regards

Kevin Thompson

Canberra, Australia  

Am I too late to participate in this discussion?  One of my favorite quotes now is "Be kinder than is necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."  That is almost the Double Platinum rule, don't you think?  I also think it is intriguing to consider how much kindness is 'necessary," (is it what is necessary for you or for the other person?) and when do you know that you have tipped over the line into being kinder than is necessary?  

I am glad that you are going to do a series on the Six Objects.  I have just recently completed 4 sessions of Club Leadership Education, and one of my uninvited additions to the training was to talk about how we need to feed the souls of our Kiwanis Clubs, and the objects are the perfect food for the soul.  Many people join Kiwanis because they are idealists, and there is no bigger cynic than a disillusioned idealist.   We must feed our souls.  It is so easy to get drowned in the details of budgets, fund-raising, reports, patches, who showed up for which project, how long they worked, etc.  We must feed our souls.

A couple of ideas for using the objects:  When we do new member orientation as a meeting program, we divide the members into 6 groups, and each group explains one of the objects and club activities that support it.  An alternative is to nake some kind of symbolic representation of each object.  Or we do all three.

Thanks to Rex for his posting; he always helps me to think!

Barb Thompson

Here are some other examples of the Golden Rule predating Jesus and perhaps even the Buddha.

Do not to your neighbor what you would take ill from him. Pittacus, Greece (640-568 BCE), Fragment 10.3.

Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing. Thales, Asia Minor (624-546 BCE).

Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself. Confucius, China (5th century BCE), Analects XV.24, also at V.12 and VI.30.

The sage has no interest of his own, but takes the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind; he is also kind to the unkind: for Virtue is kind. He is faithful to the faithful; he is also faithful to the unfaithful: for Virtue is faithful. Lao Tzu, China (5th century BCE. Tao Te Ching, chap. 49.

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. Jewish, Palestine (500-500 BCE), Leviticus, 19:18.

What you wish your neighbors to be to you, such be also to them. Sextus the Pythagorean, Greece (4th century BCE).

Do not do to others what would anger you if done to you by others. Isocrates, Greece (436-338), Nicocles 6.

I will ask you a question. ‘Is sorrow or pain desirable to you ? If you say “yes it is”, it would be a lie. If you say, “No, it is not” you will be expressing the truth. Just as sorrow or pain is not desirable to you, so it is to all which breathe, exist, live or have any essence of life. To you and all, it is undesirable, and painful, and repugnant. The Jain Acaranga Sutra, India (3rd-6th cent CE?).

What thou avoidest suffering thyself seek not to impose on others. Epictetus, Greece (1st cent CE), Encheiridion.

Do to no one what you yourself dislike. Jewish, Palestine, (2nd century BCE), The Book of Tobit 4,15.

Just as pain is not agreeable to you, it is so with others. Knowing this principle of sameness treat other with respect and compassion. The Jain Canon, India (2nd century BCE), Suman Suttam v.150.

One should never do that to another which one regards as injurious to one’s own self. This, in brief, is the rule of dharma. (2nd century BCE - 3rd century CE). Mahabharata Anusasana Parva, cxiii, v.8

A man should wander about treating all creatures as he would like himself to be treated. Jainism, India (1st cent BCE) Sutrakritanga 1.11,33.

That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole of the Torah; the rest is commentary. Now go and learn. Hillel (1st century BCE) Talmud, Shabbat 31a.

Rob,

Your message on the Golden Rule is right on. I was taught in a college class years ago that the Greeks had three types of love in their society called Eros, Philos and Aggape (A-ga-pay). Eros was was the romantic love, Philos was the friendship type love of basically I will love you if you will love me and Agappe was the highest form of love which is unconditional. Christ is the perfect example of the highest form of love and set an example for us to follow. Aggape is a higher form of love than the Golden Rule is is contained n your message. Good job!